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Sunday, December 25, 2005

its christmas day...


and its about as exciting as a bun!! its now 8 in the evening and i can hear the credits rolling on the end of cornation street on the telly, another huge factor in the mind boggling equation that is christmas.Not being a supporter of christmas, i woke this morning with a mild hangover and the idea planted into my brain that this, is just an ordinary day. i have now learned that christmas is inescapable.For starters, Mass is certainly not part of my ordinary day but its a way for a hethen like myself to try and ''get into the spirit of things'', it failed miserably... it just added fuel to my very non festive fire. A trip to the forty foot with a bottle of 2eu spanish champagne would surly liven things up. watching fifty or so paler than pale, half man/half penguin type characters , perched on a rock about to take the plunge would surly make me feel better, knowing that they were colder than me , and i was drunker than them...

There was nothing that could be done that would have made my mind do a 360 on the whole idea of christmas.. i confess , i'm a christmas loathing bastard.

My next obvious dilema is how to avoid the bugger next yr. work on a cargo ship? go to war? go to space? ''think, what would Jesus do?''
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Saturday, December 24, 2005

tis the season...



here are some festive photees.




''HAPPY CRHISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL SHUT THE HELL UP''
the wise words of peter griffin
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look of the day

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Sunday, December 11, 2005

take them bastards down a peg or two

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

phobia's

found this great site with a list of phobia's.
here is some of my favourites...



asymmetrical things = asymmetriphobia

beards = pogonophobia

beggars = hobophobia

chickens = alektorophobia

complex scientific or (Greek) terms = Hellenologophobia

dining, dinner conversation = deipnophobia

everything = panophobia

excrement = coprophobia

fear = phobophobia

figure 8 = octophobia

Friday the 13th = paraskavedekatriaphobia

large objects = megalophobia

lefthanded, things to the left = sinistrophobia

moon = selenophobia

otters = lutraphobia

peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth = arachibutyrophobia

pope = papaphobia

sermons = homilophobia

ugliness = cacophobia
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

just to prove im not a total christmas hating bastard, here's some festive facts....

No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total--leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, at tops 25-30 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more then a medium sized LEGO set (2 lbs), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" can pull TEN TIMES that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine--we need 214,200 reindeer. This increased the payload--not even counting the weight of the sleigh--to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison, this is four times the weight of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces of 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb. Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force. In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas eve, he's now dead
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look of the day


i like this one
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Monday, December 05, 2005

plan not working

its not working , my last post has been up about 1hr. no takers
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crisis at danger bay..


im worried about my blog.. putting up a hit counter has raised some questions about my adequacy. I need a quick solution to this problem, and i think popularity isnt gonna win this one. any ideas??????
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look of the day

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Sunday, December 04, 2005

lastnight... i found a dog.



Coming home from the 40ft bar lastnight at about 2, and i had to get out o the taxi about 10 mins from my gaf cause the taxi dude's car was shagged. so walkin back anyway and this dog, just like the one in the photo followed me all the way back. took him into the house at 2 in the morning when he decided to have a bit o a fit and woke up half the house.. so threw him out and he was still there thismorning.. turns out he was a pretty cool dog. but he's back with the owner now but our house reeks of dog
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College


This Building to me is like one of the "Ministry" Buildings in the book 1984. I fear it yet still not sure what goes on inside...